I'm used to It

"Loneliness.

it'd embled in me, in my heart.

Athough i have faith in Him but i want to touch.

Touch his hands. His face. His lips.

I want to feel. I want to share the feeling of my happiness, sadness, fear.

I want to share my portions.

I want to share a drink.

I want a smile.

I long for the word."

Do you think I'm always myself?

Do you think I'm always happy?

Do you think I'm always noisy?

Do you think I'm perfectly fine?

Let me confess.

I'm not.

Im not perfectly fine at all.

I am just putting a false smile on my face.

Being noisy all day not to think of my loneliness.

Am i Syahid that you normally see?

I cry to school.

I cry when i eat.

I cry when i drink.

I cry when i'm alone.

I cry to my sleep.

I am devastated.

Even just an illusion feel real.

Tell you a secret.

I see.

I spoke.

I smile.

I cry to him.

His my illusion.

When i walked home. He was there to accompany me.

When i was eating. He eats with me.

He laughs with me.

When i feel tired and sad. He comfort me.

He was with me in school when i was left by myself.

He sent me home.

He walked me to my door.

He is sweet.

And I hope God loves him like how he loves me.