7th Day of Pokemon and Him (He Knows)

Woken by the alarm on my phone, I forced myself to open my eyes. Getting my way to work was such a hassle each morning. I am meeting up with Elvin at the same place at the same time. When we reached the backstage, He and Haikal came in after. They said they were behind us and trying to catch up but we were to fast. He didnt speak to me but He did smiled.

It was demoralising thinking about it. After the first show, Lia and I went to buy cup noodles at 7-eleven. Suddenly something happened when I went backstage, Elvin told me about Him knowing about my blog and the truth. I was DUMBFOUNDED! and I ran off to somewhere which I don't know where. I sat there and tears rolled slowly from the corner of my eyes to my chin. I ignored every calls I get and I called XN and told her about it. While the rest of my close friend's phone leave me to their voicemail.

The second show is starting soon. I strolled my way backstage and just sat on the stage extrance, avoiding everyone. Tears grew in my eyes as I kneed by myself clusting my fists and screaming in my heart. "Why must everything turned out this way?" I hate all those people who masked themselves as friends. F you FUCKERS!! Now He knew the truth and we felt awkwards with each other. Perhaps He feels weird and uneasy now that He knew. "ARGH~!" I can't believe what had happened today being such a chaos! Fuck it!

I feel funny now. I just wish everything can be rewind back in time. I went backstage after seeing Edwin and He smiled at me again while seated with the rest in a circle. I just sat quietly by myself away from them, just stoning away. Last show was a 'BAM!' Although I feel down and weak, I gathered my strength and dance my heart thru thinking of sweet moment we had before. The smile on His face. I was still down and while I was changing to my underwear, Keith went in my the front stage extrance and scared me. I screamed like a little girl! -.=

Everyone left and He is going to KO Night with His crew. He waves and said "Bye!" to me. Its funny but Thank you =)

I will miss you and letting go might kill me slowly, hopefully God and my close ones could bring me back to my feet. One day, in Heaven.. I pray to Allah.. "Dearest Lord of Merciful and The Loveful One, I pray and cry to you my heart and soul. I dont ask much but just plain happiness to everyone I love dearly for those who lives and those who had passed. I will accept my fate and my life that is given with all the goods and great memories and knowing your beautiful lights that are my friends till the end. I am blessed and I 'bersyukur' Ya Allah, bring Him to the land of your greatest and fill His world with happiness and love like how you gave me."

Amin.