Freedom

Running Thru Time

Fated?

8th July 07

Sunday, 2:54AM

To my surprise, 7th July which happened yesterdae night was too unexpected to be true. I am still thinking of the night of pure dream and that finally it came true. Not really what i hoped for but it was the night of just being together.

Some toilet luck really! Unknowingly, God was being sweet to me. I appreciated every moments, every minutes and till the last seconds of it, Thank you dearest God! Thus, What does this shows? Would you please enlighten me? I do not know what to say. Nonetheless, I was dumb-founded. Could all the signs be a hidden agendas to me? Hence, I would still love that night.

I cherished that night like what i was thinking of in the bus this morning. For only just once in every blue moon, if I could meet my 'Dearest' i would be thankful God, and to my astonishment, I got to see him and spent a night chatting. I felt so closed and noticed. Call me an idiot or stupid but NO words or insults would irritates me now. Warm blood runs thru my veins and hold my heart in place, calming my beat to beat rymthm. You smiled so much with gave me a wonderful feeling and gladly i met you in my life. In every ways, how could not a girl fond of you? IMPOSSIBLE! You are so close to me but a barrier distanced our stand. But the fact is you have someone in your life who you dear with your simple world. You are simple to the extent that I am falling for you again and again. Time to time. Am i a loser? Knowing about you give me peaceful dreams. I could not forget Him in any wae.

Love is a strong word thus, i don't really care! Being close is like a gift to me. Am i the only one that would appreciate everything in my life?

Please tell me something! You gladlywould end your work at 10:30PM just for me and would join me for coffee. I am hating you for being so sweet. Those words you said brings tears to my eyes in a positive wae. Please don't say you are so forgetful. I believe that you are just too tired and take tour time to recall. Finally you remembered! YEAH! He thanked me for helping however, this could be the only options that I could do to help. But would you help me too? Impossiblely NO.

He sat infront of me at MAC, admiring Him from his slicked hair to his long neck. (lol!) His eyes were sparkling with confident looking back at me. He laughed back at what I said and making stupid faces just to react with me. We both actually had the same $50 notes while intending to pay for our drinks. Fast as I am, I paid first. Haha! Forgotten the ring that He sold, He was stressing out which made me worried. =( I played with his PSP games about break-dancing

(B-Boy) and I managed to make the virtual guy do a head spin! Wee~~! Most of it, He taught me =) Foolish me! He helped me carry my shopping bag and I was holding my heart tight. I really cherished Him alot. Showing me His vintage shades which cost $50! I freaked out. Since He likes it, its ok. haha! =)

Spiritually with you,

Syah-Ston

I hold your knife in my heart =)

Because I'm NOT a Girl

3rd July 07
Tuesday, 10:44PM

Fairy tales, a fictional-based story known to mankind. Mystical creatures, sourcerer, princesses are the mains focal to this unbelievable world. Lived in an unknown world of magicc and strange creatures that we have never seen or discover. A world full of surprises and beautiful landscapes, even to little fairies floating within the sparkling lakes. I would described my life as a Fairy Tales. Although, it is not exactly alike but seeking for the happiness is what I am searching for all these while.

It is every little girls dream to marry 'Prince Charming' and lived in a castle with thousand of rooms. Being able to love and hold him within is a blessing but will there be a happy ending?

Most fairy tales are predicted that there will alwaes be a happy ending. Sadly, my tales would not end up with "... happily ever after." Even after, would DEATH ends everything? Or perhaps there would be a new life to begin with that would create a better world?

Welcome to my 'World'. Believe it, I played the princess in this story.

Thoughts

I would die in his arms,

concealing my wings within his warmness roots.

My soul had died

leaving just bones and ashes to you.

Wanting to touch your lips

but reality broke the realm of mist.

In time to come,

I'll give you my blood that envy their life..

Subtle pain

The Beginning

Finally after most of my busy-ness school schedule, at this very moment, 02:49AM, my first blog of the century! ok.. not really! i used to have one before my wife went into a COMA =(
Sad as it is, i'm still getting use to the new laptop that my brother's girlfriend bought for me! Everything seems different as the people in my MSN are unknown to me!! LOL!! That's so silly of me for not realising the HUGE number of friends and chatsters i have. Well, now i'm quite ok and also feels so bad to delete a large majority of people in the list as its either they seems strange to me to remember who or where i knew them or just plain random people that just added me to increase their circle of friends. Well.. i dont think they would create history in my life so "what the heck?" A click away from the delete and "YESH!" I've just created history =)
hmm.. lately, i have been listening to this.. hmm.. so i say 'emo' but no. Its just an emotional piece =) "MOON by Lena Park" a korean song that i have been wanting to hear for 2 years already!! I remember the song well as there is a part in the song that had a powerful vocal pull! lol! I repeated the whole track continuously and each time its being played, i felt the cupid arrow working within me. Ok right.. being emo-ish now! OMG~!

By the way, yesh.. i could'nt download the song however He was willing to help me and i felt so grateful =) With appreciation, i bought him a triple chocolate brownie that i personally love. Though todae was such a crazy, pissing, long and winding dae.. He brought smile to my face and since as always melted my red cramberry-heart. Our rooms were just beside another and i was sewing my toile for my pants. He was unpicking His G2000 shirt just to see and construct a new garment for His assessment. The wae He acted was so funny and His drawings were so cute! =) However, i'm just thinking to much =( How can He sees me with those innocent eyes? I am and will only be seen as just a person who He know in school.. my heart sunk till its very last pit. My eyes are too heavy to carry His tears and my body weaken to time.

I just wants to love you =(