Syahston: May 2009

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Disappointed.Melancholy

21st May.
The day school had an opening ceremony of the graduation showcase exhibition. There were
many students and visitors around campus, and for once school really felt like an art school. With all the crazy, weird, classy and the odds were grazing on the greeneries right in the middle. Every corners were packed and everyone of us really dressed to impress. The degree show was a hit and tears could be seen from every eyes backstage. I smiled.

I rushed down to the diploma showcase area with Nelly, preparing in our mind the crowds as our exhibition is just opposite the buffets. I greeted my classmates with their parents and friends. I glided thru to my work and it was empty. While I stood there waiting, a received a call. To my over-surprised, it was Peanut looking for me with the rest. I thought to myself, perhaps it was them? The ones that were been with me thru years of high school. No. It's not, sadly.

I watched as my classmate's parents took photos with their child and the smiles on the faces of many were grinning from ear to ear. Flowers were given, congrats were received, hugs were tight. I stood and watched still. Dazed. I asked myself "I wonder where are they?" Nelly's convo faded as I dazed upon the entrance door awaiting. No calls still. No sight of them. Sya said we should eat. I leave my space and followed suit. I grabbed a few bites whilst thinking where are they still? It was quiet nevertheless the noise made by people around. The cheers and laughters. My sides were quiet. My mum didnt came that night. She had to work.

There were no one. No one that supposed to come came to see. My heart sunken. "I hope they received my message" I thought to myself. I kept going down to my space to see but none. As I watch Alexis, friends and all gave him their wishes and another flowers were given. I smiled, covering my disappointment to others. No photos. No friends. No sights.

"When will they be coming?" I asks
as I watch the people take off. I know I have no clear answer.

All I have then were my interior friends & Peanut.
I teared as I lay on my bed. I did not even take a shot of myself with my work.

A day had passed. What was left yesterday can never be rewind.
Leave your apology aside. It's too late once again.

That was just my show. What if it's my death?
I'm sure I will still be alone.

And for that, I know why I felt empty lately.
I want to fly away. Far far away.

Ps: Thank you Peanut.